By Rabbi Avrohom Litvin
Rabbi Avrohom Litvin
The holiday season is a time of reflection. A few days ago marked the 40th anniversary of the day that my father passed away (yahrzeit). And I am just a few days away from celebrating my birthday on the Jewish calendar.
I was contemplating what I would most enjoy for my birthday this year. Truly, I am grateful for all the blessings in my life. I have a loving wife, good health, and a great community with many friends. My wife and I have been blessed with many children and grandchildren, and I adore them all. I have a great relationship with them and truly care for and appreciate each of them. But what I would really enjoy is for them to stop by on my birthday and take a moment to be present with me and possibly share a birthday hug.
For Dad’s yahrzeit, 17 of us travelled to Boston to visit his grave, to say the Kaddish prayer and remember him. I would give anything to be able to hug him one more time, but that is no longer possible. Yet, we tried our best to do what we could. My dad loved fishing, so we rented a boat and went out on the water to share memories of him with his children and grandchildren.
I love to see my children and grandchildren spending time together. I truly hope I get to see them all on my birthday. Will they all stop by to wish me well? Will they be there when we light the candles, eat the cake and wish each other well? I hope so, but it is never that simple.
Don’t get me wrong, I love them all if they can make it to see me or not. But there is a special feeling when those you care about come by to say, “I love you,” especially on a birthday.
Why is a birthday so important? According to Jewish tradition, a birthday is the time that G-d placed a piece of Himself within you and gave you life. Each year, on one’s birthday, that same spiritual energy is renewed and there is a heightened sense of spiritual connection. The Sages teach that on a birthday, a person has a special ability to share that Divine blessing and bless others as well.
So, on this special day, I hope they all stop by, so I can hug each of them, say, “I love you,” and bless them that their dreams be fulfilled for good. And if some of them aren’t able to stop by? I will miss them, but of course, I’ll still love them and appreciate that for a whole bunch of different reasons, not everyone can make it home on any particular day. Luckily, because of how the calendar works out, there is another day in just a few weeks’ time that is also very special to me: my English birthday. I see it as another opportunity for anyone who missed my first special day to still come by for a l’chaim and a great big loving bearhug embrace. And I greatly appreciate that intentional gesture of love and closeness.
However, as I mentioned, ours is a large family, and I realize that some of the kids may not be able to make it for either date. For those loved ones, I always smile and say, even if you missed the cake on the birthday, and missed the individual blessings I give out on that day, you can still light a celebratory candle wherever you are and/or have a drink, say L’chaim and think of me. I know you love me and I love you too, at all times and in all circumstances.
As I was examining these thoughts and feelings which I imagine many of you may feel as well, I began to wonder if G-d might not have very similar feelings on the eve of Rosh Hashana. Will the kids make it to see me on the holidays this year? And if they didn’tmake it on Rosh Hashana, just a few weeks later is the joyous festival of Sukkot (Sept. 26 to Oct. 4, 2026).
The last days of Sukkot connect past, present and future with intentional acts of love. We observe the Yizkor memorial prayers for our loved ones who have passed away. And then we sing and dance and celebrate with our loved ones who are present, declaring that we are all family and connected as Jews with G-d. The Sukkah acts a “big bearhug from G-d,” as the Sukkah wraps all around us.
And maybe G-d. Too, hopes for an intentional act of love from His children on a regular Friday night, by lighting Shabbat candles or drinking a glass of wine at kiddish and saying L’chaim with family and friends.
I wish I still had my dad to hug, but I appreciate the blessing to be able to do so with my children and grandchildren. Happy Birthday to all humankind. Let’s make it a great year of connection and intentional relationship with each other and with G-d. Amen!
Avrohom Litvin is Rabbi at Chabad of Kentucky.